you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
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