Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
