Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
