ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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