whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
