Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
