Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
