Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
