This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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