Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
