u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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