Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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