I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
