farters have to be the big spoon...
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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