Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
He did a backflip because drugs
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
