yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
