we have pet lesbian snakes
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
