he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Semen is not good for contacts.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize