im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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