How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Randomize
