elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
