am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
