There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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