..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
