It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
