I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
