is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
