accomplished twins. life is a go
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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