I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
