I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Randomize
