how hairy? two words: wookie tits
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Randomize
