i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
