i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I just had sex on a roof
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
