My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
