I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize