why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
