After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
