then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
sarcasm needs its own font
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
