i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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