My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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