I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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