just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
