Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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