we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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