We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
