Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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