she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
