so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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