if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
