i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
