I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
