My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
