If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
