how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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