Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
